Teaser

Ext. roadside halloween maze - day

It's Halloween, and many kids have gathered around this maze dressed up in an assortment of costumes. The camera pans around a number of people as the host exclaims the rules of the game.

host

Come, my brave children, to the hideous Halloween maze. Avoid the creepies and the crawlies that live in every dark corner of the maze. And the first one to reach the centre and emerge alive will win the grand prize. AHA!

A pistol is shot, declaring the beginning of the race, as the children break through the starting line and push past each other into the maze.

The maze is covered with traps and dead ends. As the kids run around, the camera follows one boy, MATTY, a heavy-set boy dressed as a fuzzy bear. Matty is clearly lost and frightened as he runs around aimlessly in the maze. Matty comes across the hanging skeleton, scared by it turns in the other direction. Matty runs into the large witch at the intersection and he turns, once more, scared. Through the tunnels of the maze, you can see other children running about, trying to get to the centre. Matty whimpers and looks around, scared.

Matty

Where am I?

Matty looks down one of the pathways of the maze, and there sits a skeleton in an electric chair indicating a dead end.

A woman dressed in a cat costume lunges out at Matty and scares him. Matty stands in front of the large black witch.

Matty (CONT'D)

I'm lost! Somebody help me!

Matty begins to run. A GRIM REAPER jumps out at Matty. Matty screams and begins to run again. Matty runs passed the noose. The bottom half of a hanging mummy can be seen quickly.

Matty comes face to face with the mummy.

CLOSE ON

The mummy's face. A spider crawls out of the eye socket.

BACK TO SCENE

Matty begins screaming. The spider falls on his nose. Matty faints.

Ext. Halloween maze - night

The maze is all lit up with hanging ornament lights. Sirens wail in the background, as witnesses are being interviewed.

DR. POTOSKA leads BRENNAN and BOOTH into the maze.

Potoska

Right this way, miss.

Booth admires the costumes.

Booth

Now, that's an excellent costume.

What are you wearing?

Brennan

What? Now?

Booth

No, not now. At the Jeffersonian's Halloween Ball.

Int. halloween maze - night

Booth and Brennan followed Dr. Potoska.

Brennan

What I always wear. Are you going this year?

Booth

I'm the official unofficial FBI liaison to the Jeffersonian. Of course I'm going.

Dr. Potoska notes the wolfman. Potoska walkies another officer.

Potoska

We just passed the wolfman.

Deputy (o.s.)

Go straight towards the guillotine and veer left.

Potoska turns to look at Booth and Brennan.

Potoska

It's a maze. What can I do?

Booth, Brennan and Potoska continue through the maze.

Brennan

Dr. Potoska, how were the remains discovered?

Potoska

A kid passed out.

Brennan

What killed him?

Potoska

Oh, the kid didn't die. He just fainted.

Brennan

Then why am I here?

They walk past a hanging skeleton.

Potoska

Well, when Matty fainted, I was here with my own kids. I'm a

pediatrician, but I'm also the coroner.

Booth

Small town.

They continue to walk through the maze. As Potoska begins, and continues to talk, Booth gets separated momentarily from Brennan and Potoska.

Potoska

Yeah, well, Matty revived easily enough. Uh, he's what you call a nervous-type kid. But then I saw what it was that made him faint in the first place and I almost fainted too, because it was a mummy, which I told the

sheriff, who called the FBI, who called the Jeffersonian. And now here we are, lost in this stupid maze looking for the mummy.

Booth reappears and joins Brennan and Potoska.

Booth

A mummy?

Potoska

(in walkie)

Yeah, I do not see a guillotine.

Potoska looks at a scarecrow wearing a cowboy hat.

Potoska (CONT'D)

What would you call that?

Brennan

A cowboy?

Booth

No, it's a scarecrow.

Deputy (o.S.)

Look, just keep turning to the right, all right? Let me know when you reach the dragon.

The trio turn, and are greeted by a red and green monkey face with big white teeth.

Potoska

(to walkie)

Dead end, with teeth.

Deputy (o.S.)

That's because you turned left at the globin. You were supposed to turn right.

Potoska turns around.

Booth

Look, when you say a mummy? You mean... ?

Potoska

Wrapped in bandages, curse of King Tut. You know, a mummy.

BRENNAN

No offense, but I'm not certain a pediatrician is qualified.

POTOSKA

Pediatrician AND coroner. See that? Yeah.

They stand in front of the electric chair.

POTOSKA (CONT'D)

(in walkie)

Okay, we are at the electric chair.

DEPUTY

There's an electric chair?

BOOTH

Look, just tell the guy to throw his flashlight up in the air, will ya?

POTOSKA

The FBI requests that you toss your flashlight into the air.

The DEPUTY is with the mummy.

DEPUTY

Ten-four.

The Deputy tosses his flashlight into the air. Booth sees it.

BOOTH

Ah! There it is.

POTOSKA

Oh, let's see if we can get there this way.

Potoska begins to walk in the opposite direction. Brennan follows him. Booth stops them both.

BOOTH

Guys?

They stop to turn and look at him. Booth turns around and knocks down the haystack wall. The Deputy stands on the other side of the now fallen wall. The Deputy stands next to the mummy. Booth climbs over the fallen hay bundles.

POTOSKA

(to Brennan)

After you.

Booth stumbles on the bales of hay, regains his balance and breaths in. He looks up and sees the mummy.

BOOTH

Oh!

Brennan and Potoska follow Booth and climb over the fallen hay bundles

BOOTH (CONT'D)

What do you think, Bones?

Brennan examines at the mummy.

BRENNAN

Well, ocular contents dry, ramus collapsed, leathery skin. These are actual human remains.

POTOSKA

A mummy.

BRENNAN

How long will it take to get out of this maze?

BOOTH

Not as long as you might think.

Booth takes out his car keys and holds them up. Booth presses a button and his car alarm chirps. Booth turns around and knocks down the nearby hay wall. Booth's SUV is right on the opposite side of the now demolished wall. Booth climbs over the fallen hay bundlers and looks back to Brennan and lifts his arms with a look on his face that says 'it was that easy.'

End of teaser

Act I

INT. MEDICO-LEGAL LAB / EXAMINATION TABLE

CAM and ZACK examine the mummified remains.

HODGINS, currently offscreen, is also on the platform.

Cam

It takes a steady flow of dry air over a long period of time to achieve this kind of desiccated mummification.

ZACK

The Incan Ice Woman of Peru, the Tarim Basin mummies of China, the peat bog Tollund Man in Denmark.

Zack turns to look at the x-rays up on the screen.

HODGINS sits at a desk, his feet up, and a pumpkin full of candy in his lap. Hodgins is sucking on a lollipop.

Hodgins

How old are we talking?

Zack

Buttons, zipper, rivets. She's probably wearing jeans.

Hodgins

So, freakazoid murder-mummification rather than fascinating history?

Cam

She?

Zack

Shape of the innominate bone indicates female.

Cam

Now listen, boys. The Jeffersonian Halloween party, it's compulsory. Donors, patrons, angels, benefactors. So we all show up in costume and do our duty.

Hodgins is about to say something but Cam silences him with a finger.

Cam (CONT'D)

I don't want any argument on this.

Zack

I will be the back end of a cow.

Hodgins

So, now costume?

Zack

Naomi, from Paleontology, has agreed to be my front.

Cam begins to cut the dressings from the mummy.

Hodgins

Oh, so many jokes, so little time.

Cam shakes her head as she smiles.

Hodgins (CONT'D)

It's fine. We're all in. I'll be Edward John Smith for Halloween.

Cam looks up to Hodgins with a look of confusion on her face as she frowns. Zack notices.

Zack

Ill-fated captain of the Titanic.

Cam

What about Angela and Brennan?

Zack

Dr. Brennan always wears the same costume to this things. She loves it.

Cam

Help me remove these.

Cam and Hodgins slowly pull the dressings apart.

Hodgins

What's with the smell?

Cam

Cedar oil?

Zack

Also used in mummification.

Cam

What about this clear coating over the skin?

Hodgins

Lacquer?

Cam

She was painted to death?

HODGINS

The clothing came from a church-run thrift store.

CAM

How could you possibly know that?

ZACK

There is no bug or slime specific to church thrift stores.

HODGINS

You don't know that. I'm the bug and slime guy. You're just the

auxiliary bone guy who dresses up like the back end of a cow.

CAM

Hodgins?

Hodgins sighs, and rips off the label on the clothing and holds it up for Cam to read.

Cam (CONT'D)

Free Church of America Thrift Store, huh? Tell Booth.

Zack

I knew it wasn't bugs or slime.

Hodgins

No, you didn't! And that's what makes me, King of the Lab!

Cam glares at Hodgins.

Hodgins (CONT'D)

A loyal servant of the Empress.

Hodgins nods respectively towards Cam. Cam smiles with content.

Zack looks from Cam to Hodgins, raising an eyebrow.

Int. Free church of american / thrift store - day

Booth and Brennan walk among the clothing racks at the thrift store while talking with PASTOR BILL JONAS.

PASTOR

Clothes from this ministry were found on a dead body? Well,

I'm afraid that happens fairly often.

BRENNAN

Why?

PASTOR

Because we're a charitable congregation. Homeless people

know that we'll provide them with what they need.

Pastor Jonas puts down the painting he was carrying as Brennan opens the case file and shows him photographs.

Brennan

Do you, by any chance, remember these specific pieces of clothing?

Pastor

This is from your murder victim?

Brennan

(nods)

Mm-hmm.

A TEENAGE BOY wearing a long black trench coat interrupts them.

Boy

Jonas? Do you have anything like this in red?

Pastor

You're looking for something that screams "Satan," right?

Boy

Basically.

Pastor

I think we have a pink cape in the back. Maybe we can dye it.

The boy leaves.

Booth

What kind of church dresses kids like Satanists?

Pastor

Let me show you. At Halloween we do a Hell House. Fornication, theft, murder, gambling, usury, sodomy, abortion.

The pastor shows them a miniature of the Hell House.

Brennan

It's kind of horrific, isn't it?

Pastor

Well, abandoning the path of righteousness is horrific, Dr. Brennan. This is our way of remaking a pagan holiday, Halloween, into a positive celebration of Christian values.

(to girl) )

Excellent prostitute, Stephanie.

A GIRL, dressed provocatively, walks by them and smiles.

Stephanie

Hey.

Booth

Anyone ever dress like a mummy?

Pastor

We've never featured a "false idol" room, though, now that

you mention it, it's not a bad idea.

Brennan

Ancient Egyptian religious beliefs endured for almost 4,000 years, twice the length of Christianity.

Booth

Look, any of your kids suddenly disappear?

Pastor

No.

Brennan

What if the children that you save from abortion grow up to be usurers and sodomites?

Pastor

I don't respond to mocking semantics, Dr. Brennan.

Booth

Nor do I, but she's serious.

Pastor

In that case, my serious answer would be that in being given a chance to live a life, the aborted soul will have a multitude of opportunities to repent for their sins and live bathed in the Holy Spirit.

Brennan nods.

Brennan

Thank you.

Booth

(surprised)

Thank you?

Brennan looks to Booth.

Pastor (O.s.)

You're welcome.

Int. Royal diner - day

ANGELA and Hodgins sit across the table from a red-headed woman named AMBER KIPPLER.

Amber

My name is Amber Kippler. I'm a senior investigator with Doyley

Private Investigations.

Hodgins

Mr. Doyley assured me he'd be taking a personal interest in the search for Ms. Montenegro's husband.

Amber

Interest, yes. But I'll be doing the actual footwork. Mr. Doyley is taking a very personal interest, only not from up close.

Angela

Do you have a lot of experience at this kind of work?

Amber

Angela Montenegro is not your birth name. You changed your name on your 18th birthday because it came to you in a dream.

Angela's jaw drops.

Angela

Um...

Hodgins' eyes widen as he looks at Angela.

Hodgins

You never told me that.

Angela

I never told anybody that.

Amber

If I can discover something nobody knew about a client I'm not being paid to investigate, imagine what I can do for real.

Hodgins

Good point.

Angela

(insisting)

I never told anybody about that.

Amber

Yes, you did, actually. A girl named Roxie whose heart you broke in second year art school.

Angela

Oh...

(smiles)

Roxie.

Angela chuckles.

Hodgins

Wow!

(to Amber)

What do you know about me?

Amber

Wouldn't it be better if we got to Ms. Montenegro's husband,

Grayson "Birimbau" Barasa?

Hodgins

You found something?

Amber

I found the actual human man—in Florida, in the Keys. No

Name Key, very remote.

Angela

Did you talk to him?

Amber

Absolutely not.

Hodgins

Why?

Amber

My instructions were to locate. That being achieved, we can now discuss contact.

Hodgins

We want you to contact him.

Angela

And get him to sign the divorce papers.

Amber

By "get him" do you mean...

Amber looks at Hodgins and Angela. Angela and Hodgins look at her as if insisting the rest of the sentence.

Amber (CONT'D)

...force him to sign them?

Hodgins

If necessary, do you have a gun?

Angela

Or just remind him of who I am and ask him politely.

Hodgins

What are you? Canadian?

Amber

We'll do this one step at a time.

Ext. road - day

Booth's SUV is cruising down the road.

Booth (O.S.)

Didn't that pastor guy make you mad?

Brennan

No.

INT. BOOTH'S SUV - day

Booth

He's a fundamentalist.

Brennan

I appreciate consistency.

Booth

Oh what, the consistency of trying to scare kids into Christianity?

Brennan

How do we keep kids from smoking? We tell them it gives them cancer.

Booth

It does give them cancer.

Brennan

According to science.

Booth

You know, that's all you care about is science.

Brennan

In the end, even someone who believes in empiricism and science has to take a leap of faith.

Booth

What?

Brennan

I believe in what I can hear, taste, see, touch and measure. You believe in what you feel. Pastor Jonas believes that God speaks to him through a sacred book.

Booth's cell phone rings.

Booth

Yeah, well, I feel like we're on the wrong side of the argument here.

Booth checks his phone.

Booth (CONT'D)

Oh, it's Cam.

Booth puts Cam on speakerphone.

Booth (CONT'D)

(to Cam)

What's up?

Cam (O.S.)

I really need you to come back.

Int. Medico-legal lab / outside brennan's office - day

Cam is on the phone and walking.

Cam

I got a couple here, says they think the mummy in the maze is

their daughter.

Booth

Oh, that'd save us some time on identification.

Cam

Their daughter only disappeared last week.

Brennan

The remains we found were at least a year old.

Cam

Look, I'm great with corpses, but when it comes to loved ones, let's just say there's a reason why I'm not a pediatrician. So if you got a siren, turn it on.

Booth

Right.

Booth hangs up.

Cam turns around to look at the couple in Brennan's office.

Int. Medico-legal lab / Brennan's Office - day

Booth and Brennan are talking to Megan Shaw's parents, DON SHAW and MARGIE SHAW.

CLOSE ON

Photo of a red-haired teenager.

DON SHAW (o.S.)

Megan is fourteen. She didn't run away.

Margie shaw (O.s.)

Something terrible happened.

Booth

She's a very pretty girl.

Brennan

What makes you think the remains we found are your daughter?

Margie SHAW

The news said that you found the body of a teenage girl in a fun

house. I suddenly knew it was Megan.

Brennan

Suddenly knew?

Booth

Mr. and Mrs. Shaw, it wasn't a fun house. It was a maze.

Brennan

And the remains we found are more than a year old.

MargIE SHAW

You're certain?

Brennan

Yes.

Don shaw

Oh, I see.

Angela knocks on the glass pane, gesturing that she wishes to talk with Booth.

Booth

I'm sorry. Excuse me.

Brennan

I don't understand why you're disappointed. Your daughter might still be alive.

Margie shaw

(her voice breaking)

Megan is not still alive.

Angela hands Booth the sketch.

Brennan

How are you so certain?

Margie shaw

I just am. I can't explain it. I'm her mother.

Booth takes a seat next to Margie and Don. Booth shows them Angela's sketch.

Booth

I'm sorry. Does this face mean anything to you?

Don shaw

No.

Margie shaw

Does she have something to do with Megan?

Booth

This is the girl that we found in the maze.

Brennan's phone rings.

Don shaw

Definitely not Megan.

Margie begins to cry.

Brennan answers her phone.

Brennan

Yes?

Int. Medico-legal lab / cam's office

Cam

Dr. Brennan, another mummy has been found at Shoreline Amusement Park.

Brennan turns and looks at Booth.

Ext. Shoreline amusement park - night

Brennan and Booth quickly make their way through the park.

Brennan

Perhaps the fact that Megan Shaw disappeared from here and there's

another mummy here is a

coincidence.

Booth

Fact, Bones, there are no coincidences in a murder investigation.

Booth flashes his badge to the officer who points them towards the Dungeon of 1000 Corpses.

Brennan

You do know the strict definition of a fact, right? It's not the

same as a funny feeling.

Booth

Just because somebody says they saw a mummy doesn't mean they actually did.

Booth and Brennan walk up to a BREATHLESS WOMAN sitting on a gurney accompanied by an EMT, PETE GELLER.

Breathless Woman

I know what I saw.

Geller

Keep the mask on, please, ma'am.

Brennan

What's wrong with her?

Geller

Anxiety attack. Brought on by this dungeon here. I spend half my time on these calls.

Brennan

(to the woman)

You know it's not real, right? You're overreacting to an excessive amount of stimuli.

Geller

Keep the mask in place, ma'am.

Brennan

Plus, you should lose some weight.

Geller

(to Brennan)

Um, ma'am?

Booth

Bones, a little compassion.

Breathless woman

I'm not overreacting. There's a dead body in there!

Geller

A thousand of them, to be exact.

Geller turns and motions to the sign.

Close on

Sign that indicates DUNGEON OF A 1000 CORPSES

BACK TO SCENE

Breathless woman

There's a real one. I'm a nurse, trust me! I know a dead body when I see one.

Brennan

(to Geller)

Did you see anything?

Geller

Not much time for that. Just went in, got her, got her out.

Booth leans in, and pulls the oxygen mask away from the woman so she can speak.

Booth

Right. What did you see?

Breathless woman

A corpse. Past the killer clown.

Booth lets go of the mask, his eyes wide.

Booth

(in a higher pitch than usual)

Clown?

Booth looks at Geller.

Geller

You okay?

Booth

Yeah.

Booth stands up straighter, his posture stiff.

Brennan

You sure?

Booth

Sure.

Brennan

Come on.

Brennan heads to entire the dungeon as Booth points to the breathless woman.

Booth

Clown.

Int. Dungeon of 1000 corpses - night

The inside of the dungeon has lights flashing, and a background sound of shrill screams. Booth walks in and stops when he sees the killer clown. The clown has wrinkly skin, and long sharp teeth.

Brennan enters behind him.

Brennan

What's wrong?

Booth jumps and squeals. He pulls out his phone.

Booth

Um... the phone rang. It's Cam on the phone. It's ringing.

Brennan

Coulrophobia.

Booth

Euh?

Brennan

The fear of clowns. Coulrophobia. May explain why you shot that clown last year.

Booth

Look, I have no problems with clowns. I can stand right here. See?

Brennan

Uh-huh...

Booth answers the call.

Booth

On the phone.

(brings the phone to his ear)

Booth.

Int. Medico-legal lab / cam's office

Cam is on the phone with Booth.

Cam

We got an ID on our maze victim off of Angela's sketch.

Booth

Great. Uh, details to follow.

Booth pulls the phone away from his ear, except Cam continues.

Cam

I think you want to hear this now. Name's Stella Higgins, fifteen years old, disappeared a year ago today.

Brennan

What's she saying?

While on the phone, Booth is obviously uncomfortable with the clown. Booth keeps looking back to it as if expecting it to come alive.

Booth

(to Brennan)

ID and date of disappearance of our maze victim.

Cam

Stella was last seen at Shoreline Amusement Park.

Booth

Wow!

Brennan

What wow?

Booth

More coincidences.

(to Cam)

Uh.. Thanks!

Booth hangs up the phone.

Booth (CONT'D)

The maze victim disappeared from here. So we just go right past the clown. I can walk right past the clown, like she said. Just right...

Booth begins to walk past the clown, just as he is facing the clown, the clown begins to rotate and the clown's arm nearly touches Booth. Booth dodges the clown's arm as he lets out a scream.

Booth and Brennan continue through the dungeon.

Brennan

Torture dungeon.

Brennan imitates the "evil laughter" coming from the speakers.

Booth

Yeah, okay. Clown, scary. Not you.

Booth and Brennan enter the torture chamber and begin to look through the various dummy corpses.

Booth scoffs.

Booth (CONT'D)

Oh, gee! You're kidding me, right?

Booth points to a mannequin strapped to a torture chair.

Booth (CONT'D)

Look at the eye, uh? It's a Ping-Pong ball.

Brennan walks up to a pile of corpses, and looks at one in particular.

Brennan

Not this one.

Booth

How do you know?

Brennan

Human remains, Booth, it's sort of my speciality. This is a dead person.

End of act I

Act II

Int. Medico-legal lab / examination area

Zack is examining the most recent victim when Cam walks across the platform towards him.

Cam

Okay, the first thing Booth needs to know is if this is Megan Shaw.

Zack

It is not Megan Shaw.

Cam

I agree. It would be impossible to mummify a body like this in just a little more than a week.

Zack

Dental records do not match.

Zack begins to examine the victim's hand.

Cam

Lacquer and cedar oil. Looks like the same murderer.

Zack

That's leaping to a conclusion.

Cam

I said looks like, Zack. Looks like is not leaping.

Zack

Her phalanges, fingers, are broken. Metacarpals... cracked.

Cam

You've seen something like this before?

Zack

In Iraq, there were some remains. They'd been buried alive.

Cam

This person was buried alive?

Zack

(hesitantly)

I'm not comfortable...

Cam

It looks like this person was buried alive, correct?

Angela interrupts them. She puts up a picture of a dark haired girl with a tattoo. She clips a second picture up underneath it, of a bird tattoo.

Angela

The tattoo on the second victim's shoulder matches that of Judith Suzanne Evans. Sixteen when she went missing.

Cam

How long ago?

Angela

Two years, almost to the day.

Cam

From?

Angela

Shoreline Amusement Park. She was there with her big sister and a couple of her friends.

Hodgins walks in holding a case file.

Hodgins

Skin and hair removed from beneath Stella's fingernails turns out to be her own. Also, the lacquer used on both victims is completely generic. It's widely available.

Zack

She pulled out her own hair?

Angela

What makes somebody do that?

Cam turns around and fiddles with the computer.

Cam

There are small puncture marks, hundreds of them, all over her body. Like insect bites, but larger.

CLOSE ON

Computer screen; zoomed onto the victim's skin. Small puncture marks can be seen all over.

BACK TO SCENE

Hodgins

In both cases, the lacquer was infused with a number of particulates including a spore I'm trying to identify.

Cam addresses Zack.

Cam

Are you ready to admit that it looks like both these girls were killed and mummified by the same person?

Zack

I'm not prepared to...

Cam/angela/hodgins

... jump to that conclusion?

Zack nods in agreement.

Ext. Shoreline amusement park / dungeon of a 1000 corpses - night

Booth gathered all the employees of the Dungeon and the manager. Among the employees there's a man wearing the same grim reaper costume from the maze.

Manager

Come on. You expect me to know when one body appeared in

a pile of bodies? That's not reasonable.

Booth

An actual genuine corpse appears, and you don't notice?

Manager

The place is called Dungeon of a 1000 Corpses.

Booth

Which is why an entire FBI forensics team is sweeping this facility.

The camera pans over a GOTH GIRL with several piercings named LOLA.

Lola

This hole counts as a facility?

Booth notices the grim reaper.

Booth

I know you.

GRIM REAPER

No.

Booth

Yeah. You were at the maze the other night. Same costume.

Grim reaper

Oh... yeah.

Booth

Yeah. You're just recalling that, huh? What's your name?

Grim reaper

Gregg.

Booth

Little hint. FBI asks for your name, you give the whole name.

Manager

His name's Gregg Liscombe. He's worked here three years. You're not supposed to wear the costume to other gigs, dude. Dilutes the

effect.

An FBI forensic tech arrives.

Forensic tech

All the other bodies are fakes, Agent Booth.

Booth

Okay, we'll just keep the entire fun house as a crime scene.

Forensic tech

Yes, sir.

The FBI forensic tech leaves.

Manager

In that case, can I send my people home?

BootH

Oh, no, all your people have got to talk to my people.

(to Gregg)

And you're coming with me.

Gregg

Why?

Booth

Two places with dead bodies, and you're standing in the doorway dressed as the Grim Reaper.

Gregg

It's my job, man. It's not like I adopt the persona.

Lola

Don't say anything without a lawyer, Gregg.

Manager

Tell you what else, Gregg's got the keys to the place.

Lola

Shut up, Dan!

(steps forward)

He's got keys, too and so does cleaning crew and park security.

Booth

Wow, how about you? You got keys?

Lola

I got nothing else to say without a laywer present.

Booth

Okay, that's great, pincushion, 'cause you were practically invisible until now. Now you're bucking as number one suspect.

Lola rolls her eyes at Booth.

Int. Medico-legal lab / EXAMINATION AREA - day

Cam, Brennan and Zack are on the platform looking at their latest victim's photograph. The two mummies are on separate tables on the platform.

Brennan

Judith Evans, age 16, our victim from the Dungeon of 1,000 Corpses.

Zack explains his findings with the help of x-rays.

Zack

I've identified stress fractures to both tibias, as well as tears to the medial collateral and anterior cruciate ligaments in both knees.

Brennan

Catcher's knee.

Cam

There's nothing in the bio about Judith Evans being a baseball player.

Zack

Compressions to vertebrae C1 through C7 indicate that her neck was bent like this.

Zack demonstrates by showing how her neck must have been bent.

Brennan

But forced.

Cam

I am not liking the picture that's forming inside my head. Phalanges cracked, and her fingernails shredded, her head forced that way, her knees jammed up against her chest. Do we think Judith Evans was buried alive?

Hodgins enters the platform.

Hodgins

I... uh... I have... another bad image of how Stella Higgins died.

Brennan

Spiders?

Hodgins

Tarantulas, to be specific.

Cam

Poisonous spiders?

Hodgins places a slide under a microscope and brings it up on the computer monitor as he explains.

Hodgins

That's a common misconception, though the lack of poison doesn't make the bite any less painful. This is an urticating hair from the Theraphosinae family.

Zack

It appears to be barbed.

Hodgins

Yeah. It's very irritating. Hey, little-known fact: tarantula hair was the main ingredient in itching powder for decades.

Zack

Is there any correlation between these hairs and the fact that Stella Higgins scratched herself so badly, and pulled out her own hair?

Cam

She's bitten all over. There had to be dozens of tarantulas on her so, yeah, there's a correlation.

Hodgins

I was operating under the assumption that the mysterious spore was transported by the tarantula, but I was wrong.

Brennan

How do you know?

Hodgins

Because there's no tarantula hairs on Judith Evans, but plenty of the

spores and particulates. She has carcinogenic dibenzopyrene isomers, asbestos, polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbons, manganese and barium and steel dust.

Cam

Which adds up to?

Zack

Internal combustion engines.

Hodgins

Traffic, except for the steel dust. I have no clue about the steel dust.

Cam walks over to the computer while discussing about the tox screens, and brings up both tox screens on the computer monitor for comparison.

Cam

Well, Stella's tox results show chloroform, ephedrine, theophylline, clonydine and methamphetamine.

Close on

Computer screen with the victims tox screens.

BACK TO SCENE

CAM (CONT'D)

Judith's remains show trace evidences of the same compounds, but in different concentrations.

Brennan

Ephedrine is synthetic adrenaline.

HODGINS

Most of those are heavy stimulants.

ZACK

Their metabolisms would race. Heart rates would accelerate dangerously.

CAM

Spiders, live burial, drug-induced panic... is our murderer literally

scaring girls to death?

INT. FBI BUREAU / BOOTH'S OFFICE

Booth is talking with a young woman. SANDY EVANS, Judith's sister.

Sandy

I always felt, somehow, that Judy was still alive, even after two years. It's crazy, huh? Probably guilt, right? For letting my little sister out of my sight?

Booth

Look, you can't blame yourself.

Sandy

Did my sister suffer?

Booth remains silent, not answering the question.

Booth

You know, we got the best people in the world figuring out exactly what happened that night.

Booth circles his desk, and takes a seat behind it. He goes through the case file.

Booth (CONT'D)

So, you and your sister went to the amusement park together?

Sandy

It's kind of the thing to do on Halloween. My mom made me take

her. I didn't want to. I mean, I loved Judy...

Booth

But she was your kid sister, pain in the ass.

Sandy

She made me take Judy, even though I didn't want to, and Mom never got over that.

Booth

How did you and Judy get separated?

Sandy

Judy got scared. She didn't want to go in the fun house.

Booth

Why?

Sandy

There was this huge monster above the door. Judy freaked. She said go ahead, she'd wait outside. Judy was claustrophobic.

Booth

How bad?

Sandy

Pretty bad. She wigged out when we were driving down. There were six of us jammed in a car. We had to stop and let her out a couple times.

Booth

Do you remember if there was a Grim Reaper that night at the entrance?

Sandy

Yeah, there was.

Booth walks around his desk, sits next to Sandy and shows her Gregg's photo.

Booth

Could that be him?

Sandy takes the photo of Gregg.

Sandy

Yeah. When we came out looking for Judy, he told us she had taken off with some guy.

Booth

The police could never confirm that.

Int. Fbi bureau / interROGATION ROOM

Booth slams a mugshot of Gregg down on the interrogation table.

BOOTH

Registered sex offender. He was present at two places where the remains of young girls were found.

Booth and Brennan are questioning Gregg.

Gregg

Coincidence.

Brennan

Statistically improbable.

Booth

Scientifically improbable but, in the real world, impossible.

Brennan

Do you recognize these two girls?

Brennan places two photographs, one of Judith Evans, and one of Stella Higgins on the table infront of Gregg.

Gregg

Man, every girl that comes in there talks to me. I don't

remember them.

Brennan

Why does every girl talk to you?

Gregg

Cause I'm cute, scary.

Booth

Yeah, you do pretty well with the teenage girls, don't you, Gregory? You get them all tingly?

Gregg

All right, that sex offender thing? It's a joke, man. Look it up. I got drunk, and I took a

leak in a public fountain.

Brennan

Yeah, we did look it up. There was a group of school girls on the other side of that fountain.

Booth

Four times, you've been caught with your pants down, all around teenage girls. Coincidence?

(points to Judith Evans photograph)

Two years ago, you told this girl's sister that she took off with some guy.

Brennan

Do you remember her?

Gregg

Yeah, sure. It's the girl that disappeared.

Booth

The thing about you guys, you're all the same. You sniff each other out. Who was the guy?

Gregg doesn't say anything.

Brennan

Judith Evans disappeared October 24th, two years ago. Stella Higgins, one year ago, a week before Halloween.

Gregg

So?

Brennan adds a third photo, Megan Shaw.

Brennan

So, Megan Shaw vanished from the same place.

Booth

You can see the common element here, can't you, Gregg? You.

Gregg

Coincidence.

Brennan

There are no coincidences in a murder investigation.

Gregg

Well, it's got nothing to do with me.

Booth slaps Gregg up the side of the head.

Gregg (CONT'D)

Ow! Geez, you can't... Did you see that?

Brennan doesn't stop Booth from slapping Gregg upside the head again. Booth grabs Gregg by the shoulder and forces him to look at the photographs.

Booth

Hey! Megan Shaw was 14 years old. Understand me? Who was the guy?

Brennan looks at Booth, then slaps Gregg.

Booth (CONT'D)

Good shot, Bones.

Brennan

(smils)

Thanks.

Gregg

There was no guy! It was Lola.

Booth

Lola? The girl with the piercings?

Gregg

Yeah.

Booth

What the hell were you doing with her?

Gregg

It's not what you think. The girls come with me, maybe we get it on a little. Lola likes that.

Brennan

Your girlfriend likes to see you with little girls?

Gregg

She likes to interrupt. You know, maybe smack them around a little.

Booth

Smack around?

Gregg

Yeah. It gets Lola hot, for us, for later. Sometimes, maybe

she goes a little too far.

Booth and Brennan exchange a look.

End of act II

Act III

Int. Medico-legal lab / angelA'S OFFICE

Angela and Hodgins follow Amber Kippler into Angela's office.

HODGINS

How did you get to and from a remote, nameless Florida key so fast?

AMBER

It does have a name. Its name is No Name Key. Your confusion is natural.

Amber takes a seat on one of the couch. Hodgins and Angela sit opposite of her.

ANGELA

Uh, did you talk to my husband?

AMBER

Mr. Barasa was very pleasant, very pleasant. I mean, wow! He smelled exactly like a fresh wind just after a summer storm.

HODGINS

You smelled him?

AMBER

Part of the private investigator credo, Dr. Hodgins, insure that the client, that's you.

Amber looks to Angela.

Angela

... and him.

Angela motions to Hodgins.

HODGINS

I'm paying.

AMBER

The credo says make sure the client is committed to their objective at each step, ergo, fresh wind after summer storm reminder.

ANGELA

Despite the storm, I want a divorce.

AMBER

In that case, the news is disappointing. Mr. Barasa was nice, but adamant, no divorce.

HODGINS

Was it because he doesn't remember getting married?

AMBER

Mr. Barasa totally remembers everything. He built this for you.

Amber pulls a folder out of her briefcase, and hands Angela a photograph.

Amber (CONT'D)

A house.

Hodgins looks from Amber to Angela. He leans back and looks at the photograph.

HODGINS

A shack!

AMBER

A whimsical cottage.

ANGELA

It's darling. He built a house? For me?

HODGINS

Okay, let's be honest. It's a shanty.

AMBER

Here's what Mr. Barasa said 100% verbatim, word for word.

HODGINS

Verbatim means word for word.

AMBER

What?

HODGINS

You sort of said it twice.

ANGELA

Hodgins.

AMBER

I quote literally to the letter, Ever has it been that love does not know its own depth until the pain of separation?

HODGINS

Wow. The guy writes poetry.

ANGELA

(rolls her eyes)

Please.

AMBER

He was talking about you, Ms. Montenegro, with tears in his eyes.

ANGELA

He should get a grip.

Amber picks up her things, and stands up.

AMBER

What would you like me to do next?

HODGINS

What are you gonna do here, Ange? This guy built you a house. He cried a little bit.

AMBER

He smelled like a fresh wind after a summer storm, and you can practically see the lights of Havana from the porch of that cottage.

Angela stands up and crosses her arms.

ANGELA

I want a divorce. If I'm gonna shack up with anybody, it's this guy.

Hodgins stands up, and surpresses a smile. He looks to Amber.

HODGINS

We're gonna discuss this between ourselves, Miss Kippler. I'll let you know how we want to proceed.

AMBER

Okay.

Amber begins to leave, but turns around before exiting.

AMBER (CONT'D)

Did I mention he's the most beautiful man I've ever seen? Don't blame me. PI code: Keep it real.

Amber leaves, and Hodgins scoffs.

Int. Fbi bureau

Booth and Brennan exit Booth's office, and walk past several desks.

BOOTH

That girl Lola gets off on inflicting pain.

BRENNAN

Were you gonna hit her, too?

BOOTH

No, not with a closed fist.

BRENNAN

Why?

BOOTH

Why? That leaves a mark.

A SHORT STUBBY MAN walks up to Booth and Brennan.

BURNS

Agent Booth.

BOOTH

Yeah?

BURNs

Spoke with the Shaws. Asked if their daughter had any specific phobias.

BOOTH

Yeah?

BURNS

Snakes.

BOOTH

Snakes.

BURNS

One crawled up out of the drain of her bathtub when she was a child. So since then...

BOOTH

Okay, that's good. Just call all the pet shops, the reptile specialists... I don't know, the World of Snakes, and see who's been buying 'em all up.

Burns stops walking, and then goes back on his tracks to do what Booth instructed him to.

Booth and Brennan head towards the elevators.

BRENNAN

Does Lola strike you as a snake person?

BOOTH

Look, I'll deal with Lola. You go back to the lab.

BRENNAN

Why?

(presses the elevator button)

I won't hit her unless you say so.

Booth and Brennan walk into the elevator.

BOOTH

Look, I'll do my street thing, you do your lab thing, all right?

(presses the button)

Together, we catch bad guys. That's good math.

Booth sighs. Brennan gives Booth a sideways glance as the doors shut.

Int. Medico-legal lab / EXAMINATION AREA

Hodgins, dressed as the Captain of the Titanic, looks through a microscope. Cam, dressed as Catwoman, peers over his shoulder.

CAM

The lacquer holds tarantula hairs, your mystery spores and particulates, which suggests heavy traffic.

HODGINS

I'm aware of the parameters. I told you all that stuff.

CAM

I'm thinking aloud. It's a technique.

Brennan walks up to them. She isn't dressed in her costume yet.

BRENNAN

Are you concentrating on the spores?

Hodgins looks through his scope, slowly getting annoyed.

HODGINS

Yes, I'm looking at them now.

CAM

He's aware of the parameters.

BRENNAN

And the unexplained source of the steel dust?

Hodgins pries himself away from the scope.

HODGINS

What I'd like is to look up from this microscope in about... hm... ten seconds and find myself totally alone and able to concentrate.

Cam and Brennan take a couple of steps away from him, and patiently wait.

Hodgins resumes his examination through the scope.

HODGINS (CONT'D)

Oh, not nearly far enough. Not even close.

Brennan and Cam move to the far end of the platform. Brennan looks at Cam.

BRENNAN

Is that your costume?

CAM

Uh, yeah.

BRENNAN

It's sexually alluring.

CAM

Thank you. I'm Catwoman.

Brennan looks at her blankly.

Cam (CONT'D)

... the superhero.

BRENNAN

Oh!

CAM

One of the most powerful female superhero figures.

BRENNAN

(scoffs)

I don't think so.

CAM

Are you kidding? Catwoman?

BRENNAN

Can you fly?

CAM

I have nine lives.

BRENNAN

Super strength, super speed, force people to tell the truth?

CAM

I think I'm pretty fast.

BRENNAN

Pretty fast is not super speed.

Hodgins walks up to them and rips off his gloves, in doing so interrupts their argument by catching their attention.

HODGINS

Hawaii.

CAM

Hawaii?

HODGINS

The spore is Atronecium from the Haleahi Nebulae. It's a Hawaiian orchid hybrid.

BRENNAN

The victims were mummified in Hawaii?

HODGINS

How else would Hawaiian pollen get absorbed into the wet lacquer?

Cam nods.

Int. Shoreline amusement park / DUNGEON OF 1000 CORPSES - night

CLOSE ON

Sign : Dungeon of a 1000 Corpses

BACK TO SCENE

Booth walks up to Lola.

Lola is fixing a display.

BOOTH

Lola. Remember me?

Booth flashes his badge.

LOLA

Not one word passes through these lips without a lawyer's okay.

BOOTH

Right, and if you can't afford one, which is my guess, one will be provided. Probably a crappy one who studied law on the Internet.

LOLA

What do you want?

BOOTH

You attacked both of those two dead girls.

LOLA

Oh... Did Gregg tell you that?

BOOTH

Yeah, and this one, too.

Booth pulls a photo of Megan from his pocket and shows it to Lola.

LOLA

I didn't kill anyone.

BOOTH

That's right. It was Gregg who forced you to do that. You know what? If you don't tell me what I need to know in two seconds, I'm gonna start removing your piercings and I'm not gonna start with the ones on your face.

LOLA

Look, I roughed 'em up, all right?

BOOTH

Oh?

LOLA

That's it! I was gone. I was out of there, man! Why do you think I'm never charged?

Booth begins to handcuff Lola.

BOOTH

Yeah, okay.

LOLA

I'm gone, man!

BOOTH

Just remember, Maryland and Virginia both have the death penalties. Keep that in mind before we find Megan's body. Let's go.

LOLA

These are really tight, man!

Booth escorts Lola out of the Dungeon.

Ext. Washington - night

Brennan (V.o.)

Don't you have to put on your costume?

Booth (v.o.)

I already did.

Int. Medico-legal lab - night

Booth holds up a case folder.

Booth

I got of the killer from Sweets.

Booth is dressed up as a nerd squint. He wears a clean buttoned up shirt, with a Jeffersonian labcoat over top. He has dark thick rimmed glasses with white tape in the middle.

BRENNAN (o.s.)

You mean Dr. Sweets.

ZOOM OUT

Booth's complete assemble is finished off by the beige pants that are way to short for him and the ginormous calculator tucked into his belt.

BOOTH

Well, it's only theory, Bones. I mean, it's what he's best at. I mean, he's only twelve. Sweets says the killer is definitely a male.

BRENNAN (o.s.)

Gregg is a male.

BOOTH

No, Gregg and Lola work their

sick little thing together.

(reads the file)

Sweets says that the killer works alone and has a respectable blue-collar job. In his public life, he's into saving people, he's unmarried. Oh, he has a police or military background.

Brennan steps out dressed as Wonder Woman.

BRENNAN

You do realize that Sweets is describing you, right?

Booth turns around and sees Brennan.

BOOTH

Wow!

BRENNAN

How do I look?

BOOTH

Good. Wonder-ful. Get it?

BRENNAN

Yeah.

BOOTH

'Cause you're Wonder Woman.

BRENNAN

I know. What are you supposed to be?

BOOTH

Oh, I'm a nerd squint.

Booth leans over, and pushes his glasses up. He pulls out his big calculator and pushes a few buttons.

BOOTH (CONT'D)

(nasal voice)

You see, what is the rationale behind that conclusion?

Brennan heads towards the platform. Booth follows.

BRENNAN

That's not what they look or sound like.

BOOTH

(nasal voice)

You mean "we." That's not what 'we' look or sound like.

BRENNAN

Okay.

BOOTH

You see what I did right there? I corrected you, you know, in character...

(laughs)

... as a squint!

Brennan and Booth meet up with Zack. Zack is dressed up as the back end of a cow.

ZACK

Angela and Hodgins have a few things to show us before we go to the party.

Zack stares at Booth.

BOOTH

What?

Zack doesn't answer Booth. Brennan and Zack turn and enter Angela's office.

BOOTH (CONT'D)

What?

Int. Medico-legal lab / angela's office / imaging unit - continUOUS

CLOSE ON

The monitor indicates a location marked by a star.

Angela (v.o.)

This marks the location of Shoreline Amusement Park.

Blinking yellow triangles appear on the map

ANGELA (CONT'D)

These are the locations of three pet shops the FBI says sold out of snakes in the last week.

Angela is dressed up as Cher with a large shimmering, feathery, black headgear. She's clad in skimpy black outfit. She explains her findings to Cam, Zack, Brennan and Booth. Booth plays with his calculator as he listens.

BRENNAN

How many snakes in total?

ANGELA

Over a hundred.

CAM

Let me guess, they all paid cash?

ANGELA

Yep.

Cam removes her Catwoman mask.

ANGELA (CONT'D)

And the last place sold out about an hour ago.

BOOTH

Whoa. An hour ago?

Booth takes off his glasses.

BRENNAN

Booth, Megan Shaw is still alive!

BOOTH

Wait a second. Both Gregg Liscombe and Lola are in custody. Sweets was right. They didn't do it.

Cam shouts out the door.

CAM

Hodgins!

(to the others) )

Hodgins has been isolating locations where the dead girls could have been exposed to the metal particulates he found in the lacquer.

BOOTH

Okay, how many?

CAM

One hundred and twenty-six, not including Hawaii.

BOOTH

(shaking his head)

No, one hundred and twenty six, that's not good enough.

Hodgins walks into Angela's office.

BRENNAN

Megan Shaw's still alive.

HODGINS

What do you want me to do?

ZACK

He wants us to guess.

HODGINS

Well, my guess is Hawaii.

Cam shakes her head.

CAM

Not Hawaii.

Booth steps up to Hosgins

BOOTH

Well guess again, but better.

HODGINS

No, sorry.

ANGELA

Booth, they don't guess.

BOOTH

(turns to Angela)

Who's they?

Cam and Angela both point to Zack, Brennan and Hodgins.

cam / angela

Them!

BOOTH

Well, that's just stupid.

ZACK

We do not guess.

BOOTH

You know what? You're a horse's ass.

ZACK

Cow. I'm a cow. See my udder.

BRENNAN

I need Zack and Hodgins. The rest of you can go to the party.

BOOTH

How can we go to a party when a 14-year-old girl's being tortured to death by snakes?

BRENNAN

People like us can't work at full capacity with people like you constantly interrupting with irrelevancies.

HODGINS

(softly)

It's true.

(to Angela) )

I love you, but it's true.

Angela nods.

CAM

Okay, we're out of here.

ANGELA

This is my office.

CAM

Let's go, Cher.

Cam looks at Angela as she heads for the door.

BOOTH

Okay, well, I'll tell you what. I'll just sit right over here in this chair and I'll wait.

Booth sits in a nearby chair. He crosses his arms over his chest.

BRENNAN

Booth, no!

Brennan rests her hands on her hips.

BOOTH

Fine.

(stands up) )

I'll wait outside, okay? With this chair.

(grabs up the chair) )

I'll be outside with this chair.

Booth walks out of the office with his chair.

Once everyone left the room, Hodgins turns to face the others.

Booth sits outside the office door. He faces them, intending to wait.

Zack is at the computer while Hodgins and Brennan watch over his shoulder.

ZACK

I'm worried that Naomi from Paleontology will feel strange being only the front half of a cow.

HODGINS

She got the good end of that deal.

Hodgins takes off his captain hat, as he sets himself infront of a computer.

BRENNAN

Who's stronger, Catwoman or Wonder Woman?

Hodgins / zack

Wonder Woman.

BRENNAN

I concur vehemently.

HODGINS

All right, now, ignoring the Hawaiian pollen, these 126 sites represent loci where the necessary concentrations of particulates can be found: underground garages, tunnels, etc.

BRENNAN

Dr. Sweets says we can assume that the murderer works for a living.

HODGINS

You want us to go on psychology?

BRENNAN

Let's assume the killer has to get back and forth from his...

ZACK

In comic books, it's always called a lair.

BRENNAN

... from his lair in time for his job, sometimes during high traffic hours. Can you remove the sites which make that improbable?

ZACK

Assuming he needs to sleep.

HODGINS

Say, six hours a night.

BRENNAN

Twelve-hour shift.

ZACK

Leaving six hours for travel and torture.

HODGINS

At a maximum of two hours travel time. So, what, remove everything more than a hundred miles away?

ZACK

Too simplistic. If it's on a highway, it could be up to 120 miles away. Secondary roads, taking traffic patterns into account, less than 50. Depending on the time of day and weather conditions...

BRENNAN

It'll go faster if you do the calculations in your head, Zack, and don't explain it to us.

ZACK

Thank you.

Zack begins to mentally calculate the possibilities. He works on the computer, and then it beeps. He's narrowed it down.

HODGINS

How many does that leave?

ZACK

Thirty-one.

HODGINS

No. No way the police can hit all those, not spread thin on Halloween.

BRENNAN

We can narrow it down further. Factor, mummification.

ZACK

Yes, particulates plus mummification requires...

BRENNAN

A steady, continuous supply of dry air.

HODGINS

A large oven with blowers.

BRENNAN

I'd like to assume that the automotive particulates arrived with the blowing air.

HODGINS

Heated underground parking lots.

ZACK

How is that not guessing?

BRENNAN

Einstein referred to such assumptions as acceptable "intuitive leaps."

ZACK

I acknowledge Einstein as a scientific authority.

Zack turns back to the computer to continue his calculations and to factor in the new particulates. Hodgins watches him work.

ZACK (CONT'd)

(sighs)

But he failed us this time.

BRENNAN

The answer is in the anomalies.

HODGINS

(mutters)

The Hawaiian spore.

BRENNAN

And steel dust. What makes it?

HODGINS

Grinding, drilling, abrading.

ZACK

Scraping, milling.

HODGINS

Train wheels.

Hodgins looks at Zack and Brennan.

Hodgins (CONT'D)

Okay, intuitive leap. When a train turns, it grinds the rails, creates a steel dust.

BRENNAN

Subways which also provide warm, dry air. They're vented. Okay. What we need now are florists who carry Hodgins' Hawaiian flower which are situated directly over subway tracks.

Brennan turns to leave.

HODGINS

Wow.

Hodgins turns to watch Zack, notices Brennan leaving.

HODGINS (CONT'D)

(to Brennan)

Hey, where you going?

BRENNAN

To get Booth. Call me when you find the florist.

Brennan leaves. Hodgins turns to exchange looks with Zack.

End of act III

Act IV

EXT. STREET STOCK – NIGHT

Booth's SUV.

BOOTH (v.o.)

You're sure about this?

INT. BOOTH'S SUV - NIGHT

Booth is driving.

BRENNAN

Not at all.

BOOTH

Because you guessed.

BRENNAN

But we do not guess.

BOOTH

I think you did. I dare you to put that lasso of truth around you.

BRENNAN

Now you're being completely irrational. This lasso doesn't actually work. These bracelets aren't actually made of Amazonium. They're stainless steel. They can't stop a bullet.

Brennan's phone rings.

BOOTH

Oh-kay.

She answers it on speakerphone.

BRENNAN

Brennan.

CAM (o.s.)

Aloha Floral Supply between Friendship Heights and Bethesda.

INT. MEDICO-LEGAL LAB / ANGELA'S OFFICE

Angela grabs the phone from Cam.

ANGELA

The store sits right over the Red Line.

BRENNAN

Thank you.

She hangs up. Booth is on the radio frequency walkie talkie.

BOOTH

Dispatch, 22-7-0-5.

DISPATCH (MAN)

Twenty-two 7-0-5, Dispatch.

BOOTH

Twenty-two 7-0-5 requests backup and local units at Aloha Flowers between Friendship Heights and Bethesda.

Brennan tugs on his shirt.

BOOTH (CONT'D)

Oh. Please be advised that agents are UC dressed as a

Squint and Wonder Woman.

DISPATCH (MAN)

Repeat, 22705.

BOOTH

Just picture a scientist nerd brainiac dweeb, dork, whatever.

BRENNAN

And Wonder Woman.

BOOTH

And Wonder Woman.

DISPATCH (MAN)

Acknowledge, 227-11.

EXT. ROAD – NIGHT

Booth's SUV.

EXT. ALOHA FLORAL SUPPLY – NIGHT

BOOTH (v.o.)

(groans) )

Aahh. It's closed.

Booth pulls the SUV up to the front, and parks it. Booth and Brennan exit the SUV.

BOOTH (CONT'D)

Go around the back.

They go around the side of the building, and stop at a padlocked vent.

BRENNAN

Dry air.

BOOTH

Subway. Florist. Okay, stand back.

Brennan steps back, as Booth shoots the lock.

INT. BASEMENT – NIGHT – CONTINUOUS

Booth and Brennan climb down the ladder into the basement. They look around and come to gate padlocked shut with a gain. Brennan cocks her big gun.

BOOTH

Okay, where did you even find a place to carry that?

She pushes him toward the padlocked and chained wire gate door.

BRENNAN

Look, could I please shoot this one?

Booth tugs on the chain and the padlock falls off. He opens the gate. They both enter the subway access area. Booth leads. Brennan follows. A train passes near them. Brennan notices an open door off to the side.

BRENNAN (CONT'D)

Booth?

Brennan walks up the short stairs and enters the room.

INT. SUBWAY ACCESS AREA / TORTURE ROOM

Inside the room Booth and Brennan come across a worktable, several empty vials and syringes. Brennan smells the table.

BRENNAN

Cedar oil, lacquer. This is where the killer mummified the bodies.

Booth looks at the empty vials on the floor.

BOOTH

Ephedrine, other... other drugs.

Booth realizes who the murder is.

BOOTH (CONT'D)

I know who the murderer is.

BRENNAN

Who?

Booth hears footsteps and looks up.

BOOTH

Let's get out of here.

Booth rushes out of the room. Brennan follows.

INT. SUBWAY ACCESS AREA – NIGHT

BOOTH

Lola beats up the girls, leaves them bleeding. Who shows up to help? Access to drugs.

BRENNAN

The EMT. Smart. You should wear a lab coat at all times.

BOOTH

Puts them in the back of his ambulance, he knocks them unconscious.

A girl's scream can be heard.

BOOTH (CONT'D)

Just stay there.

Booth reaches for the padlock on the door. It's locked. The girl screams again.

BOOTH (CONT'D)

Screams are coming from inside.

BRENNAN

Can I shoot it?

BOOTH

No!

Brennan fires at the padlock! The bullet bounces off the lock and hits Booth. He yells, hoping up and down as he clutches his leg.

BOOTH (CONT'D)

Yow! Geez!

BRENNAN

Oh! Sorry! Sorry, Booth!

BOOTH

You shot me! Damn it! I said no! Don't shoot! No!

BRENNAN

Are you all right? I think the bullet bounced off my bracelet. Just like Amazonium.

BOOTH

Geez, Bones.

Booth clutches his leg. Brennan takes the padlock off and opens the door. The floor is littered with snakes . Brennan screams as she jumps up on the nearby box.

BOOTH (CONT'D)

What are you doing? They're not poisonous.

BRENNAN

I know. I know.

BOOTH

Then why don't you come down?

BRENNAN

It seems I'm not completely in control of my actions.

Booth turns and offers his back to her.

BOOTH

Just get on my back.

Brennan climbs onto his back. Piggy back style.

BOOTH (CONT'D)

(groans)

Ooh! God, Bones.

Booth, with Brennan on his back, enters the room.

INT. SUBWAY ACCESS AREA / SNAKE ROOM - NIGHT

BOOTH

Ow.

Megan Shaw is in a far corner, attempting to stay away from the snakes. She's terrified.

BOOTH (CONT'D)

Megan?

BRENNAN

It's okay.

BOOTH

Can you understand me?

Booth and Brennan approach Megan. Megan looks up and screams. Brennan glances over her shoulders and sees a KILLER CLOWN in the doorway. He cocks his shotgun. Brennan raises her gun and shoots. The shot hits the door as clown ducks back from the doorway. The backfire causes Booth to drop Brennan. Brennan falls back and hits her head against the wall.

BRENNAN

Ugh! My head.

BOOTH

Just stop shooting at things, Bones.

Booth heads out of the room to chase after the clown.

BRENNAN

But, he had a gun!

BOOTH

You stay here. Anyone comes through that door, you shoot their heads off—except me.

Brennan lifts her gun up towards Booth.

BRENNAN

My gun is too big for me.

BOOTH

I could've told you that a hundred times. Here, take mine.

Booth exchanges guns with Brennan.

BOOTH (CONT'D)

Guard Megan.

Booth heads towards the exit, his gun raised. Brennan reaches out towards Megan.

BRENNAN

Come on, Megan. Come here.

Megan and Brennan huddle in the corner.

INT. SUBWAY ACCESS AREA / NIGHT

Booth carefully and slowly leaves the room. Booth walks away from the room, searching for the killer clown. Both travels along the wall, his back to it, and his gun raised. Booth stops and hears the clown jump down from above. The clown cocks his gun. Booth turns around. The clown fires, misses , hitting the concrete near Booth. Booth ducks and fires.

Inside the room, the shots can be heard. Megan whimpers.

BRENNAN

It's okay.

Booth turns and leans against the wall. Booth reaches for and holds his waist. The killer clown rushes forward.

BOOTH

Damn it.

Booth checks his side and he's been hit and is bleeding. The clown looks around the corner. Booth sees him and fires. Booth moves. The killer clown steps out and fires at Booth. The clown takes his mask off, the killer clown is EMT Pete Geller.

BOOTH (CONT'D)

How could a guy with military training miss with a scattergun? What were you, Navy?

Geller removes the shells from his shotgun.

GELLER

Infantry.

Geller drops the shells on the floor as he reloads his gun. Inside the room, Megan whimpers. Brennan silences her.

BRENNAN

Okay.

GELLER

Which is how I know you're carrying the 50-caliber 500. Well, that's five shots.

(cocks his gun.)

And by my count...

(snaps the gun.)

... you only got one shot left.

Geller steps out and fires.

Booth checks his gun and groans.

GELLER (CONT'D)

That's one dumbass gun to bring to a shootout!

(taunts) )

Where's your backup, Booth? Shouldn't they be here by now?

Inside the room, Brennan tries to get Megan to remain silence.

BRENNAN

You need to be quiet. Can you do that, Megan?

Megan nods. Brennan stands up. Megan and Brennan make their way towards the door.

Outside, Geller hears Megan whimpering. Geller turns his head toward the snake room.

Brennan and Megan reach the door just as Geller turns and fires at the door. His shots hit the door. Brennan and Megan scream.

BOOTH

Bones, you all right?

BRENNAN

We're okay. We're okay. He's using you to get to us.

GELLER

Not for long, Booth. I'm just gonna stick my scattergun in there and empty the barrels.

Booth picks up an access panel and uses it as a shield as he makes his way back to the snake room.

GELLER (CONT'D)

Your girl is gonna look like hamburger.

Geller turns around and fires at Booth, his shots hit the access panel. Booth falls back as he drops the panel. Geller ducks behind the open snake room's door. Booth gets uo. Booth cocks his gun and aims for Geller

BOOTH

One shot.

Booth fires. The shot went right through the metal door and hit Geller. Geller grunts. Geller falls to the floor with a loud thud.

BOOTH (CONT'D)

One hell of a shot.

Brennan and Megan finally exit the room. Brennan points her gun on Geller's motionless body.

BOOTH (CONT'D)

Now can you see why I hate clowns?

EXT. WASHINGTON – NIGHT

EXT. JEFFERSONIAN – NIGHT

INT. MEDICO-LEGAL LAB / LOBBY - NIGHT

Angela meets up with Amber Kippler.

ANGELA

Ms. Kippler.

AMBER

Wow. Ms. Montenegro, you look amazing. Halloween, right?

ANGELA

Look, Hodgins and I haven't really decided what we're gonna do next.

AMBER

I tried to seduce him, you know.

ANGELA

Hodgins?

AMBER

Ew. No. Your husband. I took off my top and everything.

ANGELA

Why?

AMBER

I've been told I have alabaster skin that's really impossible to resist touching.

ANGELA

Isn't that some kind of conflict of interest? The PI code?

AMBER

On the contrary. I did it totally for you, the client.

ANGELA

Mm-hmm.

AMBER

I was testing your husband with my wiles so that I could properly advise you.

ANGELA

You are a very dedicated investigator.

AMBER

Which is why I have to tell you something I didn't want to say in front of Dr. Hodgkins.

ANGELA

Hodgins. There's no k.

AMBER

Your husband is deeply, deeply in love with you. Also, he has incredible abs and forearms. So what I'm suggesting is that I take you down there, mediate a meeting, and see if any old sparks don't flare back into life.

ANGELA

I'm in love with Hodgins.

AMBER

Now.

ANGELA

Forever, Ms. Kippler.

AMBER

Did I mention the little catch in his throat when he said your name?

ANGELA

Look, all I want out of him is a divorce, okay? So if you want to see him again and you want to rub your alabaster all over him and shake his snow globes, be my guest. All I want is the divorce.

Angela begins to leave.

AMBER

I hear you. I believe you. I just wanted to make sure.

ANGELA

And please don't ever say "ew" about Hodgins again.

AMBER

Beards. I don't like beards. Rspecially in conjunction with huge, blue eyes. Makes me feel like I'm staring into one of those Russian religious icons.

Angela doesn't comment. She turns and leaves. Amber turns . Hodgins is walking towards her.

AMBER (CONT'D)

Oh, Dr. Hodgkins.

HODGINS

Hod-gins. Were you just talking to Angela?

AMBER

Yes. I was telling her that her husband is extremely physically attractive.

HODGINS

Okay. Enough with that now. Quit trying to drive a wedge.

AMBER

It's a fact. On a scale of one to ten, he's ten to the tenth power.

HODGINS

What am I?

AMBER

You're a solid 7.5, which is quite respectable.

HODGINS

Your job is to help me and Angela to be together.

AMBER

Dr. Hodgkins, domestic issues make up the core of our business. And I have to tell you, most of the time they go back.

HODGINS

They go back?

AMBER

They go back to their husbands or their wives most of the time. It's a fact.

HODGINS

And you think Angela should go back to her husband?

AMBER

I don't have an opinion about should or should not. I'm more interested in will or won't. But in this case, in my opinion. I don't think she's going back to her husband.

HODGINS

Even after you practically threw him at her?

AMBER

Exactly. Aren't you glad I did? Now you can sleep like a baby because of my thorough approach.

Hodgins begins to leave. Amber smiles. Hodgins turns back.

HODGINS

Thank you.

AMBER

That's right, "thank you."

Hodgins and Amber both leave.

INT. MEDICO-LEGAL LAB / LOBBY – NIGHT

The lab is dark and empty. The doors open.

Booth and Brennan walk into the Jeffersonian.

BRENNAN

Where is everybody?

Both Brennan and Booth look horrible.

BOOTH

At the party, I guess.

BRENNAN

We could still go.

BOOTH

Ah, we look like hell.

BRENNAN

It's a Halloween party. We could be Wonder Woman and, what's Superman's secret identity?

Booth pulls his nerdy glasses out of his shirt pocket, and places them on his face.

BOOTH

Clark Kent.

BRENNAN

Yes. We could be Wonder Woman and Clark Kent after a really, really bad date.

Brennan takes a seat on the steps.

BOOTH

Yeah, bad date because you shot me.

BRENNAN

It was only a flesh wound. And you dropped me on my head.

BOOTH

After you shot me. Okay, I think I got you on this one. Okay, Wonder Woman?

Booth removes his glasses and takes a seat next to Brennan. Booth sighs heavily, and Brennan looks at him.

BRENNAN

I'm sorry you had to kill someone. I know you hate that.

BOOTH

Yeah, he had it coming.

BRENNAN

You hate it. I'm sorry that happened to you.

BOOTH

We saved the girl. That's a pretty good date.

BRENNAN

Except not really a date.

BOOTH

I know. It was...

BRENNAN

... work. Not a date.

BOOTH

Really, really hard one.

BRENNAN

And we're not really Wonder Woman and Clark Kent. We're Brennan and Booth.

BOOTH

Look, you're the one who brought up the date analogy.

Brennan and Booth share a moment of silence.

BRENNAN

You hungry?

Booth puts on the nerdy glasses again.

BOOTH

Yeah.

BRENNAN

Me, too.

Booth and Brennan get up. Booth leads, and Brennan lags behind.

BOOTH

Okay, let's go grab a bite to eat.

While Booth heads towards the door, Brennan stops, and begins to spin around in a circle with her arms up at her sides. Booth turns around.

BOOTH (CONT'D)

What the hell are you doing?

Brennan stops spinning.

BRENNAN

Nothing.

They head out of the Jeffersonian.